We have always been thought not to be selfish, which is true and a good value to posses. Yet we also need to understand that thinking about yourself is not selfish. [Read my earlier blog on Taking Care Of Yourself Is Not Being Selfish] One of the biggest myths we feed into is that setting ourselves as a priority about ourself is kind of selfish and unkind. Truth is, it is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for others. When we are in good space and with good energy, others around us benefit a lot. Yet, we’re so conditioned to believe that things will fall apart and it is not ethical to put the person who lives inside your heart, body, and mind first. So is self-appreciation a sin? Michael Jordan is considered the best basketball player of all time. Yet, he would shyly say that he was ordinary and it is because of God's grace that he is good. Once, while deposing in court, he had to swear on the Bible that he would state only the truth. The judge began his questioning by asking Michael if he was the greatest basketball player ever. Michael said, “Yes.” The judge was taken aback at this overt admission by the usually humble Jordan. Later, he called Jordan aside and asked how he publicly declared himself the best. Michael simply said: “You made me swear on the Bible, I had to speak the truth. I am the best.” This is self-appreciation And, when you lack the ability to appreciate yourself or accept yourself unconditionally, you end up feeling rejected. The fear of rejection debilitates, destroys and reduces people. Even now I have to pull out of certain relationships in life and work since I have allowed myself to be taken for granted. They have all used me and not given anything back and in the end I have felt so wretched and frustrated. So I decided to change my priorities and started to spend some more time only for myself. I had a great feeling thereafter. It is well known that only if you have love and peace within yourself that you can pass the same to others around you. Making yourself a priority enables you to be a better person, not just for yourself, but for the relationships your forge along the way. The choices we make from a more loving space is far more beneficial than the ones you make from a place of guilt, lack and overextending. Below are seven ways to start to value yourself and make yourself an important person in your life. Besides, everything starts with you.
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"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep" - Scott Adams I grew up like every other teenager of the 80’s and 90’s – breathing cricket, reading MAD, watching MTV. I was obsessed with Madonna, and Micheal Jackson. I loved all of it; the music, the visuals, the performance. I decided that I too was going to become a popular person like them. Coming back to reality, I am still one of those insignificant cubicle jailed corporate manager who is trying to find his passion and see how to get out of this boring software job. It was less than a year ago that I decided to start writing/blogging. Until this artistic awakening, I had taken lessons in creative writing and story telling and there was no improvements in my skill. When I decided to do my own thing was a completely different ball game. There were no notes to follow, there was no grammar constructs to obey. I needed to decide for myself what the words and the plots were going to be. This required a whole new way of thinking, seeing and writing. Consuming is easy. Getting inspired is much more easier. Following instructions is the easiest. But when you go from a consumer to a creator, you start to think about things you never thought about before. It is equally overwhelming and exciting. I wasn’t always sure I was going to be able to do it. Yet, when I shifted from a consumer of blogs to a creator, my life changed profoundly. If you watched the movie "CRANK" [the slang word for methamphetamine], then you remember that according to the plot the main character turns out to be under the deadly poison influence and must keep his adrenaline flowing constantly in order to keep himself alive. He does so by various methods including taking drugs and getting into fights, while he tries to track down the man who poisoned him. The main character uses all conceivable and inconceivable sources of thrills, deliberately compromising himself and putting himself in harm’s way to provoke the hormone release. He runs, fights, shoots, takes part in pursuits, jumps from towering height and has sex in the street. The movie idea serves as a good metaphor for our modern day life. Many people are fully imbued with a similar poison - BOREDOM. I don’t believe boredom is caused by a lack of things to do. I don’t think that it is even caused by a lack of things you want to do. Rather I’ve found boredom is usually mislabeled to disguise a different problem. This is why most attempts to stop boredom don’t work, because they don’t address the real problem. There is no one root cause but in my research have found certain trends or behaviour which leads to boredom. In this blog I would like to share few tricks which have worked for me to overcome boredom and are easy to implement. |
AuthorVasudevan is a Leadership Mentor and an Executive coach. I run an online website geared towards helping creative entrepreneurs and future managers to build their dreams. Archives
June 2023
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