After being beaten by Tortoise, Hare reminds himself, “Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!” This is the moral which we were taught in my school days from the Aesop tales, In the recent times, many of the corporate have started realising that it's not agility alone which can win the race but the agility requires a lot of consistency too. Whether you have committed to eating healthy, to exercising regularly, or to achieving an aggressive sales target, being consistent will play a crucial role in achieving your goals. Why should we strive to be consistent? Just to illustrate my point in a very short way:
What are your consistency blockers?
I have fought this battle of excuses enough during my career to know that the only way my excuses won’t keep me from being consistent is if the goal is important enough to me.
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“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~Victor Hugo Last November, my life was in ruins. My family life was at rock bottom, I was unceremoniously thrown out of my job, my health was not too great, my financials were hitting abysmal low. It was not looking good at all for me. All these while, I was toiling under the sun while it look totally dark and cloudy. I was in a desperate state looking for instant solutions, what we call in Tamil "Ethai thinna pitham theliyum" Everyday was a struggle, I would try and stay positive and take one step and I would slip three steps back. I felt like I was stuck in quick sand. I realised that whatever I did, nothing worked. All this frustrations drove me insane, I wish I could scream on top of my voice and just quit. But something inside of me told me that this too shall pass - wait for that silver lining in the dark clouds. I knew I was doing good and it was just matter of time before things turn around. I am listing some of the points on how I dealt with these emotions. One sloka from Gita Chapter#2, Verse 63 reminded me of why I should not let anger and frustration rule over my sense. Translated: From anger delusion occurs, from delusion bewilderment of memory, after forgetfulness of memory the loss of spiritual intelligence and losing spiritual intelligence one perishes.
“We’re taught to give–as we should be–but not how to receive,” says Amanda Owen, author of The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want. “People get flummoxed on how to receive a compliment.”
Everyone loves to be noticed in a crowd, enjoy spotlight, yearn for that 15 minutes of fame and be cajoled. There are only a few who know how to accept compliments gracefully, Many of them when confronted with a simple appreciation will immediately downplay it or reject it entirely. Whenever you receive a compliment your first reaction is maybe to deflect the attention. For example when one of your close friends expresses his/her gratitude for your help, or your spouse says "Thanks you", you are prone to decline the appreciation bluntly with something like this "Oh! That wasn't great, anyone would have done the same" kind of a response. Often we think we need to be very humble while receiving appreciations which is true, but you need to be humble yet not harm others when they compliment you. This above response does look very logical and correct to you but it truly downplays your role and directly insults the other person who has just paid your a compliment. When you deny, deflect or self-insult a compliment, others may interpret your actions as ungrateful or insecure. By accepting a compliment it doesn't in anyway show yourself as attention starved or any appearance of pride or vanity. Gratitude is the only acceptable way for receiving a compliment. By accepting a compliment, it shows you as respecting others feelings and recognise their appreciation. You can even accept gracefully an appreciation even if you know that the other person is not genuinely giving it or giving it just for formal protocol gesture. Sometime you may not know how to react when you receive an accolade, just use these simple tips to accept them with grace. "Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish." - Richard Dawkins Looking back on my life so far, I see that I gave for a long time struggled to take care of my own wants and needs and didn’t make them a priority. I used to find that very uncomfortable, and sometimes even selfish to ask for a small help from anyone. I am a master of giving, but I face serious obstacles to receiving. By nature, I am a nurturer. I find tremendous joy and fulfillment in giving, I am always used to offering plenty of time and energy to everyone else (my family, friends, and team mates) but me. I was always doing my best to please others and make them happy. I still believe there’s nothing wrong about that, and that my only mistake was that I am treating myself unimportant. Some months back, while I was helping a public school in a village near Trichy, I was assigned to organize a major team-building event for the school children there. I decided to go for a motivational class talking about time management and prioritising. It all went beautifully, and everyone had much fun. Students were asking lots of questions, laughing, and enjoying learning, while I was making sure everything went impeccably. After the session, it was time for lunch, time to eat delicious food and enjoy a relaxing afternoon together. I had spent hours arranging the food, preparing different team games, and making sure this event was going to be a party to remember. And so it was, especially for me. I will never forget that day. It was transformational; a wake-up call that shook me to the bones. One of the student asked me what are you going to do, the lunch was over and there was nothing left for me. I had a feeling that it would look very akward if I kept some food for me. I was totally wrong when the kid said - If you do not stay healthy how are you going to help us? Then I remembered the airlines announcement for the oxygen mask - first you secure yourself before helping others. This boy turned the way I stated to look from then on - caring for yourself is not SELFISH. |
AuthorVasudevan is a Leadership Mentor and an Executive coach. I run an online website geared towards helping creative entrepreneurs and future managers to build their dreams. Archives
June 2023
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