The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt Any Rand Guilt has a very bad characteristics - it has an incredible way of popping up whenever we are barely doing anything. Most of us have learnt guilt throughout normal childhood development. Guilt clues us in when we’ve stepped outside the boundaries of our core values. It makes us take responsibility when we’ve done something wrong and helps us to develop a greater sense of self-awareness. The feeling of guilt forces us to examine how our behavior affects others and make changes so that we don’t make the same mistake again. That is the bright side of guilt, when we look into the other side it weight a very heavy burden on us even when we have not crossed over the Lakshman Rekha within us. It is like a negative energy that diminishes our life. So the main problem with guilt is that it can easily go out of our hands. In any feelings which we experience, we need to quantify it to know the effect of that on our minds and hearts. It is really difficult to measure any of the human feelings. With this constraint, I have come out with a mathematical formula to calculate the amount of guilt. It goes like this - "The quantity of a man's guilt is directly proportional to the feelings experienced by the party he injured." It's logical and hence cannot be mine, I wish to give the credit to its owner - Mr.Ryszard Kapuscinski (a Polish journalist, photographer, poet and author). Now I have no guilt feeling. Many researchers and life coaches believe that If we’ve had a strict upbringing, as an adult, we may set our standards too high and judge ourselves too harshly. And that’s where the problems arise. This is what I generally refers to as the dark side of guilt. Excessive guilt diminishes our ability to enjoy many aspects of life. It can cast a gloomy shadow on our relationships with others. So how does guilt creep into us? Since guilt is a heavy feeling that too from your heart, it sometime defeats logic. We can get guilt in many ways. Maybe it is because we have performed well below our expectation, or we failed to live up to the expectation of someone whom we regarded as our idol. Or we did something which caused hurt to someone in some way or a mix of all of these or finally it's all about the self. You are feeling guilty because you didn’t keep a promise you made to yourself.
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AuthorVasudevan is a Leadership Mentor and an Executive coach. I run an online website geared towards helping creative entrepreneurs and future managers to build their dreams. Archives
June 2023
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